Dying To Live is a reality film by Ben Mittleman documenting his open-heart surgery for a leaking mitral valve, a genetic heart condition that had killed his father. I recommend the film as an honest look at the emotional rollercoaster that serious illness can involve. Mittleman is still alive and is doing well in Los Angeles.
The film will be released on March 13, 2008 in Los Angeles and will have a theatrical run of two weeks. Les says check it out.
Most of the film consists of Mittleman's first-person narration, home movies, and conversations with others. There's no analysis of what's going on, and no statistics about prevalence of this or that. Instead we get an unvarnished slice of life, with the filmmaker turning the camera on himself as he tackles some truly scary medical problems.
The interest of the film lies in Mittleman's range of emotions as he faces his own medical challenges and the illnesses of his loved ones. Several of his family members die during the course of filming. Seeing so many of MIttleman's relatives cope with illness takes the film out of the purely self-absorbed category that some reality documentaries fall into. His mother was diagnosed with colon cancer, survives for several years, has brain surgery and finally dies. His Aunt Bess settles into an assisted living facility and finally dies. His dear friend Valerie is diagnosed with lung cancer that eventually proves incurable. He and Valerie decide to marry (after dating for 21 years) and Valerie receives hospice care prior to her death. Valerie's aging houseman Sam has a stroke and throat cancer, progressing from assisted living to nursing home, finally dying under difficult conditions in which his advance directives were not on file with the hospital, resulting in unwanted insertion of a feeding tube.
The film gives us a direct look at the emotions of anxiety, fear, anger, and depression that often come with serious medical problems. Mittleman's honesty in revealing his feelings is impressive. You can view this as a rare type of "guy flick." Mittleman had worked as an actor, often cast as a beefy tough guy. We don't often get to see a man that looks like a football player being this exposed. His mood swings from angry rage to pained crying, sometimes within a few moments. Men in particular will identify with some of the "guy moments." Prior to his diagnosis Mittleman had been very physically fit, so his declining physical capacity is a challenge to his sense of self.
With so much illness and death on the radar, you would expect the film to be a downer, but I did not experience it that way. Instead, there is a positive, life-affirming tone that consistently keeps its chin up despite the problems. Family, love, and the courage to keep going are quiet subtexts, without any preachy tone.
We get enough glimpses of medical procedures to make us share the discomfort, but thankfully the film does not linger on them at excessive length. The main focus is on what Mittleman is thinking and feeling as he tries to cope with life-threatening unknowns. His illness drives him to re-evaluate his values, his family history, and everything else about his life. While he does not elaborate on his religious views, he draws strength from his Jewish heritage, which is reflected in family interviews, a conversation with a rabbi, and personal scenes. He mentions Talmudic scriptures in passing as he reflects on what the experiences mean, but there is no preaching or deep philosophical discussion.
Surprisingly, there is not a single mention of costs, insurance coverage, or other financial matters. Many documentaries on serious illness give the impression that wonderful medical care just somehow happens. Did the operation cost money? Who paid for it? Did Mittleman ever worry about the financial impact of his illness, including the loss of ability to work? These omissions aren't a reason not to see the film, but they do reflect the fact that the costs of care are often overlooked in films of this type. It's a good film anyway. For more on the film visit: http://dyingtolivethemovie.com
