Where Do I Go From Here? Seeking the Support of a Group
Our hearts are aching, are mind wanders to a thousand places and nowhere at all. We long to be with our loved one and we push away those who are still around. We have questions; we don't know where to search for answers. We feel fragile, angry, lonely, hurt, crazy, broken, confused, frantic, nervous, and numb...
We don't want to open ourselves to new people we might have to say goodbye to. We don't want to open our hearts again to another loss. So why support groups? I find there are so many benefits to support groups that I could spend a day just relating how they have touched the lives of people who come to share their stories, their mourning, and their healing. In seeking out a support group, we search for people we have a commonality with -- being bereft of someone we love. We seek new people who will hear our stories with fresh ears and hearts, and will not hold us back from the catharsis that comes with genuine mourning.
We have questions and groups provide a place to ask them, to benefit from the facilitator and group education and even if the only answer we receive in return is, "we hold you in our hearts", we have been given a gift. Sometimes we're seeking someone to share our frustrations with, to help us problem solve, or just to listen. That's what good groups do, meet you where you are "at" and care for you as you figure out what you need.
You are the greatest teacher and you alone know how to heal your grief. A group celebrates your triumphs and hold you when you need comfort. A group is a place to try out life, to learn what being empowered and mindfully participating in living and grieving is about as you seek and find meaning and purpose.
Above all, a group should feel safe to you, should have set guidelines, and should adhere to the universal wisdom of confidentiality so that members feel they can share their journey. If you don't feel safe with other group members or the facilitator, you are less likely to explore our experiences and feelings, and be open to feedback.
You will less likely want to fully involve yourself in growing and transforming, continuing bonds of love that death could not take away, and transform our sorrow by finding new meaning in life as it is today, here and now, not how it was.
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